CJLL #7

 

A 1750s engraving picturing a devilish figure with tail, horns, and mustache hammering his cock like a blacksmith to make it longer, one would assume.

 The Cully Flaug'd and a torturous looking orgy

Historic sex toys from the 1700s (two dildos) auctioned off for over $5,000 - Ever wondered if people masturbated in the 1700s? Well they did, and they did it with tremendous kink. 

 

 A tower of ladies getting hit with a birching, and another dirty picture from the 1700s with a bonus hairy cock-shaped lantern on the wall.

Seventeenth century Japanese Natsuke Figurines (rope bondage)

Renaissance Royal Revels - 15th century - looks to me like pony play with a bridle and whip; A sketch taken from Last Judgement 1541 - that may show anal fisting; 1600s woodblock - Pan's got a boner

A No Good Rotten Day

Yesterday was a pretty bad day. 

It was so noisy: three helicopters over my house in the morning, honking cars on the way to Georgetown in the afternoon, construction in the parking garage that was deafening and audible in the upper floors of the building, more helicopters over my office, rain on the roof, barking dogs. Sometimes I just hate noise.

I showed up to my psychiatrist's office two days early.  I called the day before to confirm my appointment, but apparently the phones were down so they could not call me to tell me that my appointment was Friday.  Maybe I expect too much, but if I knew someone would be driving all that way to come on the wrong day, I'd use my personal cell phone to make a one minute call to let them know. But as some libertarians say, While I cannot push you into a fire, it is not my responsibility to pull you out. Sometimes I wish I could be so callous.

I ran into my psychiatrist in the hall.  He said that if I got my chart he could fit me in. The lady at the front desk didn't believe me and told me I'd have to wait about 3 hours, and she didn't want to give me my chart. I told her I'd wait as long as I needed to. But Jesus Christ, just do what I fucking ask you to do. Give me my fucking chart.

Anyway, got the chart and sat down to wait, then I started to cry out of pure frustration at myself for having such problems getting appointments right and at the fucking universe for having the nerve to have nonfunctional phones.

My wonderful psychiatrist fit me in almost immediately. After initial hellos, the first thing out of his mouth was "Are you going to the big S & M event in DC this weekend?" I told him that I was not going to Fetfest but I knew some people who were. He said he knew about it because a group he likes, the Kinsey Sicks, will be playing at the event.

My psychiatrist is a man well into his 70s. He just got back into the office after hip replacement surgery. And he loves the Kinsey Sicks.  (Video below) He's a pretty cool dude. And yay for nonjudgmental, sex-positive mental healthcare professionals.



By the time I got back to my office, I was on the verge of cussing everyone out.  My lovely coworkers talked me out of most of the bad mood.  I went to the grocery store after work, had a veggie pizza and cleaned a bit.  The sense of accomplishment in putting some stuff away helped lift my mood.

I watched Nature and Nova on MPT.  The Nova episode, Earth from Space,  blew my mind wide open. My Ms. Drew laid pressed up against me on the couch, emitting her signature silent but deadly farts. Introducing the new fragrance Deadly(TM) by Drew.

By bedtime I felt OK. 

When I have a bad day, I'm reminded of how well I'm taking care of myself, staying on my meds, working hard in therapy, making good choices about who I have in my life, what I do with my time, and how I handle setbacks. Almost every day was like this a few years ago.  Now a rotten day is rare, and I'm very grateful for that.

Coming Out As Kinky

In this Savage Love Letter of the Day, Dan Savage argues that BDSM is something a person of any sexual orientation can do; it is a sexual activity, not a sexual orientation.  Therefore, it isn't anyone's business. The diversity consultants at my workplace say something similar:  Talking about your sexual activities is inappropriate, but you can discuss who you get sexy with.

I tend to agree with this regarding acquaintances, but just about everyone I'm close to knows I'm kinky. I feel like I'm hiding something if I don't discuss my membership in the community.  If I don't, I seriously feel like I did when I exclusively dated women and someone assumed I was straight.  I have a hard time putting words to why this activity requires disclosure, while my other activities like wildlife rehabilitation and photography do not. I guess it's sexual activity and part of my core all rolled up in one. 

Slap Me Baby. Hard.

Worrying about the future is the root of anxiety, and I shouldn't be doing it.  However, when I find myself thinking about a future relationship, I might worry that I'll fall for some dude who isn't kinky and has no interest in exploring.  That I'll be rejected for it.  In reality, I'd have to reject him, but in my worries I'm always the victim.

As much as it is important to me, as much as I want it to be a part of my life until I go to sleep for the last time, I don't see BDSM as my orientation. (I'll give this more thought.) But there are people who do. In the same column, Dan Savage posted an interesting  and very long letter from a young man who sees BDSM as his orientation. The letter writer describes it this way:

We live in a culture where those of us who are weird enough to have similar experiences have absolutely nowhere to go, which is why I want it in the public consciousness. Which is why I'm "out," why I intend on staying that way, and why I think being "out" is so important for those interested in BDSM. I belong to the local kink group, go to munches, etc., and we get a lot of people in their 50s who have been having sex for years and are just now getting interested in kink. I've been interested in kink since I was three and am only now—at age 24—getting interested in more vanilla-type sex. I prefer feminine-but-androgynous partners, but I'm bi and have played with members of both genders (if you believe in a binary, and many genders if you don't), and I'd much rather whip someone I was unattracted to than have just plain old sex with someone I was. And there are other people like me, regardless of how rare. My playmate between ages four and seven. My current partner. And there have to be others.

I don't care what you call what I am (although I'd be very curious about what you'd call me if not "BDSM-oriented"), but I'd like it to be known that people like me exist. Eventually I'd love to see it inserted in the public dialog, hopefully so the next generation has it a little easier. It's no fun being trapped in your own head, unable to talk to anyone and convinced that what turns you on, something you totally didn't ask for, is destined to eventually turn you into a predator and a monster.

We are all different, coming to BDSM in our own ways. The when and why of disclosure and the question of orientation will be on my mind for a while.

((((((mummification)))))))

The title is wrapped in layers. It's mummified, get it? AHEM, sorry for the bad joke.

I had the most wonderful experience with mummification a couple months ago.

So HB (a variation of his scene name) wanted to try mummification so I let him practice on me, wrapping me tightly from my shoulder to knees. He enjoyed the practice wrapping, and I enjoyed the feeling of plastic wrap on my skin and the increasing inability to move.

That was kinda it until I said, "You know what would be fun?"

Months ago I watched a scene with two men and two women. The women stood face to face while the men wrapped them from shoulders to feet in plastic. The guys pushed the ladies back and forth between them. It looked very fun.  Later in the scene they pushed the ladies onto the floor, punching with fists and shocking with a mini cow prod. Then the ladies started to "yellow."  At that point, I was a little disgusted but the scene wrapped up quickly.

I wanted to recreate the plastic-wrapped lady toss.  He brought over another guy, Sexy Dude (SD), one that I had my eye on for a couple months as just a really nice looking dude with all these muscles and stuff.  This new guy was kind and asked right away if he had permission to touch me.  As I was already immobilized and feeling a little helpless, I appreciated that.

I stood between as they pushed me just a little. Then they got a little further apart at which point they had to catch my weight.  HB said "Give her some shoulder!" and SD did, but I told them that I did not consent to hard impacts.  This is important to understand as a bottom, because consenting to one thing does not mean you consent to everything, and that even in the middle of a scene you have the right to refuse what you don't want.  Any play partner worth your time will respect that.

I kept my eyes closed as the falls grew longer and longer, so long that I screamed out because I felt like I was going to hurt myself if I plopped on the floor. (Even if I did fall, there would have been no breaks because we were on mats. Safety first!) That was so fun and so scary at the same time.  If I do it again, a blindfold would be fun.

Then the two put me over a wide spanking bench and hit me with riding crops and gently with their fists.  Two men at one time.....my fantasy!  :-) When the plastic wrap came off, I went from sweating hot to freezing cold in about 10 seconds.

After a bit of recuperation, HB bent over a spanking bench for a nice paddling.  I was the first time I used my West Virgina paddle for almost the length of an entire scene and the first time I topped a man. Also the first time that I've switched with a person the same evening.

It was almost the first time I tried buffalo, when HB and I, along with two others, went out for a 1am dinner in Dupont Circle. I got cheesesteak instead. 

A Gentlemanly Flogger

My flogging from a couple weeks ago went well. The Flogger likes a different kind of play, though, so it's doubtful we will play again. There are benefits to playing with people who have been around a while, like the ease and directness of communication. He also knew exactly what he was doing, down to a straw for my water bottle so I could drink without letting go of the St. Andrew's Cross. When I write him back I'll tell him he is quite a gentleman.

================================

Dear Flogger,

Thanks for my first flogging. I am interested in playing again if you feel the same way.

A couple hours later my back looked like nothing had happened, so marks were not a problem. I liked the slow build up, but once warmed up I can take more, but I'd like more intense thuddy type stuff.  Towards the very end I almost signaled to stop, but you backed off whatever it was you were doing. Was that the single tail/flogger hybrid? At this point intense stingy sensations are too painful, and I am in no way ready for a visit from a single tail whip.

There were two things that I did not like, but they are easily solvable. I enjoyed and appreciated the aftercare, but the thick blanket combined with the heat of the club was miserable.  I could bring a lighter blanket. Also if you would like to play again, I would like the hits scattered around the back of my body (including ass) rather that just the shoulders.

Let me know what you think,
UTP

=================================

Hi UTP

 

Sorry for the delay in replying.

 

I intentionally didn't want to go too hard because it is much easier on your body to ask for more next time, than to ask for less. That may have been the cat o'nines that was stingy. I wanted to give it a try and see how you responded. I saw your hand move slightly, so I stopped.

 

We talked about being able to hit your ass, but it was last minute and I didn't want to change what we had negotiated at the spur of the moment. Combine that with avoiding the kidney area, it didn't leave a lot of alternatives.

 

I'm honored you want to play again. My play tends to be a bit more sexual, e.g., using floggers on breats, playing with nipples, and flogging inside the thighs. Obviously, that is not something you are interested in doing. We should talk in person one evening and see if there is common ground.

 

Flogger

Finally a Flogging

At the local BDSM club, I talked with a couple who are on the board of  local BDSM educational group, asking if they received my membership renewal since I hadn't yet received my membership card.  I chatted a bit with the wife, and we discussed how I had been having a hard time finding people to play with at the club.  Most scenes are negotiated online. They may change the script at the D101 nights to reflect this. She asked her husband if he'd like to do a flogging scene with me, and he said he was too tired. Oh well.

The following week, the organization sent me a letter regarding my membership, and this was inside the envelope:

It will be interesting playing with someone much older with much more experience. By interesting I mean I will be nervous and a little uncomfortable.  The uncomfortable is instinctual - everything you learn about being a woman and keeping yourself safe.  It will be in public, I know he will respect my limits, and I'll hopefully have a friend there keeping an eye out.  There will be no restraints, so I'll just walk away if I need to.  But still I'm nervous. Frontal lobe:  please control the lizard brain.  Thanks.

Also, he is a nice looking guy, but I'm not attracted to him. The thought of him touching me in any kind of a sexual way is gross.

The negotiations to date:

Savage Love on Weed

Oh Savages. What can I say?

I don't like violent movies but I made an exception for Savages because I liked the cast (Blake Lively, Salma Hayek, Benicio Del Toro).  A bigger factor for me was that Blake Lively's character, O, has two boyfriends. Did you say two boyfriends?  Yeah I did.

=============

In the middle of a therapy session, my therapist burst out, "Oh, there's a movie you have to see!"

I said, " Savages?"

"Yes!"

I'm in there regularly talking about my adventures in kink, and how I've met these people, but they aren't contacting me anymore and what does that mean, and should I care, and people set up their relationships in such interesting ways, I see all this variety and people seem happy, etc. I may have mentioned once or twice that it would be interesting to have two boyfriends.

So she thought of me when she saw this movie.  Good or bad?  Not sure.

==============

I wondered how Savages would treat the relationship between Ben, O, and Chon.  I was concerned it would be a drama-filled sex-frenzied whirlwind of chaos and destruction.  To my suprise it was the exact opposite.  Inside the relationship was love and calm.  Outside, everyone was double crossing everyone else, cutting deals, and slitting throats. The only people who didn't sell each other out to the highest bidder were these three.

==============

There was only one love scene with all three of them together.  I was the most tame in the movie, no skin, just kissing, but to me it was by far the most arousing. And that was because of the weed.

Out on the patio each takes a hit from a bong.  Someone looks into someone elses eyes and they start touching. Chon rubs his hand along O's bangles. This is one of the hottest parts, because not only are they making out, they are making out high. That touch on her arm would be exquisite not because pot heightens the senses, necessarily, but it quiets down the monkey mind. All the stuff going on in her brain would cease for a while and she would simply focus on the sensation of a hand running up her arm.  I'm not sure if it feels better so you focus more, or because you can focus on one thing it feels more intense.  Either way, if a touch on her arm is exquisite, imagine the mind-blowing potential of a touch, lick or slap in a much more sensitive area.

I don't know if  they intended the viewer to bring all this to the movie, but that's what I picked up and man that scene was hot.  I shifted in my seat a little.

==============

I saw it for a second time mostly so I could stare at Ben (Aaron Johnson).  I'm such a sucker for the long-hair-scruffy-beard thing on guys. I like all kinds of men, trust me, but this kind of look is UTP bait.

Tie me to the mast of a ship, or so help me I'll see it for a 3rd time. MUST WAIT FOR DVD.

CJLL #6 - History of the Flagellants

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 The HISTORY OF THE FLAGELLANTS: otherwise of RELIGIOUS FLAGELLATIONS among different Nations, and especially among Christians

Being a Paraphrase and Commentary on the HISTORIA FLAGELLANTIUM of the Abbe Boileau, Doctor of the Sorbonne, Canon of the Holy Chapel, &C.

By one who is not Doctor of the Sorbonne

Honi foit qui mal y pense.

Otherwise of RELIGIOUS FLAGELLATIONS among different nations and especially among Christians

LONDON Printed for G. Robinson No. 25 Pater-nofter Row 2nd Edition M DCC LXXXIII

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Tips on Power Exchange for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Relationships in Fifty Shades of Grey

I was talking with a friend the other day, a mid-twenties woman name K. We both started exploring kink in January of this year, occasionally we compare notes, and our experiences have been oddly parallel.

K and I are pretty regular play partners.  We met while I was under the influence of a rare bout of social confidence. She agreed to be my demo bottom for wax play at a Dungeon 101 event, that led to spanking, and then to pretty regular play. I enjoy spanking her, and she ends up a pile of melted butter once we are done, but there is nothing sexual about it in that we are not attracted to one another. Well it is sexual insofar as spanking and stroking a woman's backside is sexual, but I'm not so turned on that I have to go home and masturbate.

K struck up a friendship with a polyamorous married forty-something from the capital region of New York.  I'll call him Albany. The initial meeting, again at a Dungeon 101 event, led to nearly daily e-mail communication and a long distance dominant/submissive relationship.  For instance, he will tell her how many times she must orgasm in a given week, or if she must abstain from orgasm altogether. On occasion he will take the train down to DC and use her poor ass as a demo bottom for D101.  Sex is a hard limit for both of them, but he has stayed at her apartment.  During that stay Albany told her she could not use any of her furniture.

Kitchen Kinks / 60 in 3

Aside from K, I've been playing with a married early-thirties man. I met him and his wife at a munch very early on and gradually we have built up a play relationship. Within the scene there is a definite sexual chemistry. A very hot sexual chemistry. But unlike K and Albany, the dynamic does not carry out into real life.  The three of us have been out to eat and gone on nature excursions without random incidences of spanking breaking out. I guess that is the difference between bdsm and d/s.  D/s goes with you everywhere if you let it.

Being the social animals we are, K and I were trying to make sense of all this.  These are relationships, but they are not dating relationships and they don't fit the contours of any relationships we've had before.  Are they friends with benefits? Doesn't friends with benefits mean you're fucking?  Neither of us are doing that with any of the people we hang out with. But "just friends" don't spank you, control your orgasms, or drive you crazy at the local sex club. Trying to categorize makes less and less sense as we travel down this rabbit hole. What we have found are relationships that come in various shades of grey.

CJLL #5 - Display

Close Ups after the jump

CJLL #4 - Display

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Larger pictures after the jump

CJLL #3- Boot Blacking Ephemera

Two advertising cards for shoe polish from the Carter-Johnson Leather Library:

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                                                    Frank Miller's French Blacking New York

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                                                             Bull Frog Shoe Polish 5 cents

Kink Deferred

Yesterday around 9pm, headache and vomiting got in the way of a perfectly good night of kink, which was to include spanking and fire cupping.  I have to hand it to the staff at the Crucible for taking good care of me until I was well enough to drive home.

The day was not an entire waste kink–wise, however. In the afternoon I attended a workshop on genitorture for those with vulvas and vaginas. I explain it that way because the instructor wanted to make the point that just because a person has these genitalia does not mean that the person identifies as female. The preferred pronouns for the four (!) demo bottoms were he, she, she and it.

Via ssh

For the first demo, the bottom got on the floor and the inst. kicked him between the legs. Hard. Apparently bits can take alot of impact. Then the inst. covered his vulva with plastic wrap and hit it with a small leather strap and then a paint stirrer. Since he was a boot black, he also requested to be hit with one of his brushes, and reported that the prickly, irritating sensation of the bristles was not deadened by the plastic wrap barrier.

The next demo discussed how one could introduce humiliation into a scene by doing an "inspection” of the genitials, looking them over, examining them, and making quantitative (I can fit 3 fingers in.) or qualitative (I can fit 3 fingers in because you've got a loose slutty vagina!) statements. Then the inst. moved on to insertion, describing how it can be made uncomfortable, including sliding a finger in along with the dildo to put pressure on different parts of the vaginal wall.

For the third demo bottom, the class moved from basic genitorture to genitorture university.

A snake bite remover can works as a mini version of vacuum cupping. It is the same principle, but the cup is small enough to cover the area of a bite, and suction is achieved by pulling a syringe handle.  I don't know the right terminology here.  It is alot of suction in a small area, and when applied to the clitoris, the result is intense.

The instructor also demonstrated that fire play is a possibility for the bits if one uses a q-tip dipped in 70% isopropal alcohol (90% burns too hot apparently). When lit, it is a tiny flame, almost invisible.  I tried this on my arm and it was hot and uncomfortable, and it singed the hair.  I can only imagine it on more sensitive areas.

(I'll add here that the instructor is OSHA certified to handle blood and spent a good deal of time talking about safe handling of equipment and sterilization.) 

Via Quinn.anya

The last act of the third demo was needle play: one just under the skin of each of the outer labia, 3/4 in long needles straight into the perineum, mons pubis and clitoral hood, and a 5 inch needle through both outer labia, making a vulva kabob. Ouch, ouch, ouch, and ouch. The demo bottom moaned and groaned as the needles went in, especially the kabob because it went through skin four times. Once in she could not feel them, and she was content to have them in while we observed the fourth demo. (When the needles came out later there was pain and blood.)

The forth demo moved us from genitorture university to genitorture post-graduate fellowship.  This is some gnarly shit.  If you had trouble with the needles, scroll on down to another blog entry.

Fair Warning.
 
The first part wasn't so bad.  We learned how to use a speculum. Then the demo bottom wanted to have the feeling of scrotum, so the instructor injected each of the outer labia with a saline flush. It was a pretty good size syringe filled with saline and it took about 15 seconds to inject each labia.   Oval-shaped swellings became visible, and the instructor told us that the body would reabsorb the saline in about 24 hours. The instructor has also done this procedure on men to temporarily enlarge the scrotum and penis, and also on men and women who want to temporarily enlarge breasts. In the case of breast, she has used IV bags full of saline.

Via Chekhter

Finally we learned how to do a temporary chastity using super glue. The instructor put some super glue on a q-tip and spread a tiny amount along the sides of the outer labia then pushed them together. After about 10 seconds they were glued.  In this case, the demo wanted access to its clit, so only a 1/2 inch portion of the labia was glued.  If one wants to glue more, there must be an opening left for urine.

The glue breaks down over the course of 3 days through exposure to urine. If there is an emergency situation and it must be undone before then, nail polish remover on a q-tip applied only to the glued area will release it.

CJLL #2 - Piercing Fans International Quarterly - No. 16

Another goodie from the Carter Johnson Leather Library: Piercing Fans International Quarterly - No. 16.  On the cover, Annie Sprinkle shows her labial piercing. In the issue:  special feature / play piercing, who's who / meet mother magic, and Ellen Sunshine's letters continue.

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Carter - Johnson Leather Library #1 - Pins

Over the next month or so I'll be posting pics of what I saw at the Carter-Johnson Leather Library while it was visiting the Washington, D.C area.

If you have anything BDSM or Leather related that you would like to pass on, please contact the Library.  It is documenting history, and if you are reading this, you are part of that history.

In addition to magazines, newspapers and rare books, the Library collects memorabilia including lots and lots of pins.

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(Above: Trench San Francisco; 3rd Anniversary Camp 1974; Boot Camp IV "His Master's Boots" San Francisco; International Mr Leather 1988; B.U.L.L.; Mike's Men Friendship Dinner; American Brotherhood Weekend 1994; 9th Excelsior MC 1984; Night of North Magnolia October 7, 1995; Friend of Spearhead; Toolbox Number 1 in Toronto; San Francisco GDI Club 1975; Knights of Malta San Francisco; 2nd Anniversary Eagle 1980; The Five 1981; Camp 2; The Village 1st Anniversary August 5, 1978, 18th and Castro S.E.; Baron MTL; Mr. East Coast Leather 1994; Gay Night at Marriott's Great America 1978, 1987; Rochester Rams, Rochester, New York; Thanksgiving Everett's Village; Corral International Long Beach; Second Annual Night of Knights, Golden Night Award; 49ers; Copperheads; LVC 1986; Guardians 4th, 7th; California Motor Club 1965-1980 Carnival; Mid American 1975; Ms. East Coast Leather 1994; Leather Forever 1977)

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(Cant make out a ton in this one, but I found DC Eagle, Trident Los Angeles, and Southeast Leatherfest)

Thoughts on Princess Donna and other Porn Stars

I was a huge Princess Donna fan. Such a fierce domme, gorgeous, mean in a caring way. Of course I still am, but I’m not a fan of her more recent endeavors as a bottom. I know that Princess Donna does not do anything Princess Donna doesn’t want to do, but I don’t like seeing her thrown about, spit on, slapped across the face, and face fucked. What happened to you Princess Donna? Where did you go? Somehow, it just doesn’t seem right. I could be projecting since I have no interest in any of those things.

I don't think I'm projecting. I was talking with a friend about this, and he said he felt the same about Felony. As a sub, he said, she was beyond compare. (I had to look her up and he was right!) But, he said, more recently they've [Kink.com] had her doing domme-related things, and it just feels wrong to me.

First, there is the issue that Kink.com "has [Felony] doing domme-related things."  We are talking like she has no agency.  She probably wanted to try new things or get out of bottoming.

I found a nice clip with Felony being topped by the lovely Bobbi Starr, and as I read the comments, the same issue he had with Felony popped up, but in REVERSE. "She is a true domme" or "She is no good at bottoming because her natural state is a top."

It seems that the first role we see an actress in - top or bottom - is how we assume she is and should be forever.  When we see something different, it causes cognitive dissonance.  It just doesn't feel right.

Do male actors have this issue as well?  I have to admit I do not know if male actors switch as often on the same websites.

Exploring BDSM

I’m entering a phase in my life where I want to explore all the things that have been interests of mine but I’ve been too scared to do anything about.  One of those things is getting involved with the bdsm community.

Via kk+

I debated creating a new blog for writings on this topic, but I’ve decided against it. It folds in with my love of dogs and children, my talents in art and photography, my interest in learning and teaching.  It’s all me. 

I’ve spent my time thus far meeting people in the area bdsm community. I’ve met them through Fetlife or through classes organized by a local education and support organization (Black Rose).

 

I may change settings to warn that my blog contains adult material, but I won’t be explicit for the sake of being explicit. This blog is not going to turn into one-handed reading. As I have time I’ll post about my experiences and impressions as a way to keep a record for myself and help others who may be on this journey in the future.