It was so noisy: three helicopters over my house in the morning, honking cars on the way to Georgetown in the afternoon, construction in the parking garage that was deafening and audible in the upper floors of the building, more helicopters over my office, rain on the roof, barking dogs. Sometimes I just hate noise.
I showed up to my psychiatrist's office two days early. I called the day before to confirm my appointment, but apparently the phones were down so they could not call me to tell me that my appointment was Friday. Maybe I expect too much, but if I knew someone would be driving all that way to come on the wrong day, I'd use my personal cell phone to make a one minute call to let them know. But as some libertarians say, While I cannot push you into a fire, it is not my responsibility to pull you out. Sometimes I wish I could be so callous.
I ran into my psychiatrist in the hall. He said that if I got my chart he could fit me in. The lady at the front desk didn't believe me and told me I'd have to wait about 3 hours, and she didn't want to give me my chart. I told her I'd wait as long as I needed to. But Jesus Christ, just do what I fucking ask you to do. Give me my fucking chart.
Anyway, got the chart and sat down to wait, then I started to cry out of pure frustration at myself for having such problems getting appointments right and at the fucking universe for having the nerve to have nonfunctional phones.
My wonderful psychiatrist fit me in almost immediately. After initial hellos, the first thing out of his mouth was "Are you going to the big S & M event in DC this weekend?" I told him that I was not going to Fetfest but I knew some people who were. He said he knew about it because a group he likes, the Kinsey Sicks, will be playing at the event.
My psychiatrist is a man well into his 70s. He just got back into the office after hip replacement surgery. And he loves the Kinsey Sicks. (Video below) He's a pretty cool dude. And yay for nonjudgmental, sex-positive mental healthcare professionals.
By the time I got back to my office, I was on the verge of cussing everyone out. My lovely coworkers talked me out of most of the bad mood. I went to the grocery store after work, had a veggie pizza and cleaned a bit. The sense of accomplishment in putting some stuff away helped lift my mood.
I watched Nature and Nova on MPT. The Nova episode, Earth from Space, blew my mind wide open. My Ms. Drew laid pressed up against me on the couch, emitting her signature silent but deadly farts. Introducing the new fragrance Deadly(TM) by Drew.
By bedtime I felt OK.
When I have a bad day, I'm reminded of how well I'm taking care of myself, staying on my meds, working hard in therapy, making good choices about who I have in my life, what I do with my time, and how I handle setbacks. Almost every day was like this a few years ago. Now a rotten day is rare, and I'm very grateful for that.