How tolerating the rape culture is keeping your dick dry
by Cydian Rake
This post is addressed to the dudes in the crowd. All you
ladies might want to leave the room, because I’m going to try my best to
talk to these guys just like I see them talk to each other in the
movies.
OK dude, have all the ladies left?Good. *Ahem*
You are a fucking moron.
No shit, you are actually making things harder on yourself and every other guy out there who is trying to get laid.
Yeah, YOU!
Every time you are a misogynist, an angel closes her legs.Every time you think to yourself that the careful etiquette that women (and men) are trying to create in order to combat the rape culture is just a bunch of feminist nonsense, women everywhere are that much less inclined to go out, and that much less likely to wear something sexy when they do.
Every time you fail to make eye contact with a woman you are sexing up, every time you fail to notice that a woman isn’t having such a great time, every time you fail to speak up when you see a woman looking uncomfortable with another dude, somewhere a woman decides that she just isn’t that into sex.
Every time you whistle at a woman walking down the street, or grab ass on someone without getting permission from her lips (or *at least* from her eyes), every time you speak to a woman like she owes you sex, or take the easy way and make a really bad rape joke at the expense of your audience member (Yes, Tosh, I’m looking at you), and every time you stand by and watch that shit happen, or even defend the douchebag who did it, somewhere else a woman says no to a man, gets an unexplained headache, or asks to be taken home early.
Eventually, that man will be you. And you will believe that her rejection of you is unjust, and you will probably think, or even say, unkind things about her to your friends, or even to her face.
But YOU, you fucking moron, YOU are doing this to yourself.And I can already see you thinking to yourself all manner of absolute childish tripe and justification after sophomoric justification about how this is “just how women are”:
- • They are aloof, they are cold, they are callous, they enjoy breaking men down and making them beg.
- • OR: They are just being drama queens; the 1 in 4 rape statistic is exaggerated, it’s really 1 in 14. As if it matters which terrifying statistic is true. Like semantics is going to somehow make it all OK.
- • OR: They are confused, they don’t know what they want, they need a big strong man to make the decision for them.
- • OR: They just don’t like sex as much as men do, so you have to trick them into it or you’ll never get laid.
- • OR: All they had to do was not walk in that part of town, not wear that outfit, not be such a tease, count to ten and spin around three times.
- • OR: They all want sex but are ashamed to admit it, so they need you to convince/coerce/cajole them into it so they can be relieved of the responsibility of wanting it. See? You were really raping those ladies for their own good. What a generous guy.
So, I am going to do you a favor right now.Now this is only a favor if you can be man enough to shut the fuck up, sit down and read this as if you cared to understand what it is really like for a woman.
Men, you overpower women by sheer muscle mass, your general weight is 60 lbs heavier by average, and as a combat specialist for 10 years I can tell you the honest truth about fighting: weight is almost everything.
Women walk around scared. Every. Fucking. Day. Now I am aware that you all walk around a bit scared too because, whether you admit it or not, you are scared of being rejected or humiliated, since you are EXPECTED to be the one to put yourself out there and make yourself vulnerable. But women–the lucky bitches–women get approached all the time! Right?
Women get approached because they are viewed as targets!
As in: men like to hunt them. Usually the hunt ends in a conversation and a nice time, but sometimes it ends in blood. Lip blood, vaginal blood, sometimes dead cold drying blood.
Yes, that is what it’s like for a woman. Walking around terrified all the time that a man might just arbitrarily decide to hurt you, and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it. Women LONG for a man, partially for protection, but EVERY man is a threat until proven otherwise, and all they have for weapons is their social intelligence, a rape whistle, and a hope.
Now, why the fuck should you care?
Man, even if you are the most shallow guy in the world who just wants a pussy, ass or mouth to wet your dick in, you should care. Because the rape culture is making women afraid of you, and of sex in general.Imagine a world where the CULTURE dictates that men who see any sort of misogyny should put a stop to it right away.
Where any man who sees some sort of excessive force takes action with equal force to put an end to it. Where fucking cops don’t spend their efforts convincing women it’s not worth fighting for justice.
Where the reaction from friends and family is not accusation and disparagement (“Are you SURE that’s what happened? You’re not just overreacting/dramatizing/mis-remembering? This is a man’s life we’re talking about here!).
Where a woman’s character is not pilloried because she was unlucky enough to be victimized. (“She was wearing a MINI SKIRT.” “She had been DRINKING.” “She flirted with him in front of everyone!” “She slept with half the neighborhood, why should we believe that lying slut?”)
In that world? IN THAT FUCKING WORLD?!
In a world where those who have the most power actually exercise it by–at the VERY LEAST–refusing to stay silent when they hear some dude telling a woman she is a bitch for not sleeping with him. All it takes is four simple words:
“That’s not cool man.”
In THAT world, you would get laid all the time.WHY?
Because women LOVE SEX.
They actually love it more than you do. They want men (or women) to fuck them. A lot. And IN THAT WORLD, many of them would not even be all that picky about a quickie.
And even though most of you reading this are not rapists and most have not even accidentally misunderstood a signal and gone too far; it’s not your actions I am talking about here. It is your inactions that are REALLY fucking things up.
So why make a change?
1) Do it for the children.Some reports show as high as 70% of all rapes are by an immediate family member. By making rape not OK anywhere, you give more options to those who wish to report abuse by their own family.
2) Do it for your fellow men who are raped
Yeah, even men are raped and a culture where people look the other way allows that to happen to anyone.
3) Do it for your mom
If 25% of women have been sexually assaulted in some way, then there is a decent chance that your own mom has been raped, Dude. Your own mom. But let’s say you hate your mom. What about your little sister? Or your second-grade teacher? Or your best female friend from elementary school. Chances are, some woman who has made a positive impact on your life has been or will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. Chew on that for a while.
4) Do it for your self-respect
You know what is right. Just because you’ve spent a lifetime kowtowing to whatever Alpha attitude happens to be running the table at the moment, doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. Want to sleep better than you ever have? Want more genuine self-confidence? Put a stop to an injustice and stand up for your convictions.
5) Do it for your penis
Have you been paying attention? Not only will changing the culture make women more likely to spread their thighs for you, changing your attitude will do the same. That’s right, being RESPECTED is a serious turn-on, and integrity is fucking hot.
So the next time I see even one of you assholes make another disparaging comment about women, or respond to “I was raped” with “What were you wearing/doing/drinking/WHATEVER?”, or fail to stop some creep from making a woman uncomfortable, expect me to step in and stop YOU.
Because honestly, Asshole: you’re fucking it up for me.Be like these guys instead:
http://austin.culturemap.com/newsdetail/07-12-12-14-37-the-best-response-weve-heard-to-daniel-toshs-misquoted-rape-jokes/
http://www.pcar.org/men-against-sexual-violence-masv
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/teenage-rape-victim-will-not-be-held-in-contempt-for-naming-her-attackers/
http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/hmar/
http://www.rapeis.org/activism/prevention/menagainstrape.html
http://www.mencanstoprape.org/
http://marcnc.blogspot.com/
http://www.mencanstoprape.org/
http://www.menstoppingviolence.org/
http://www.nomas.org/
http://www.thedadman.com/
http://www.jamesontriplett.com/2012/04/25/i-stand-for-respect/
http://www.jacksonkatz.com/
http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/
Yeah, that’s right, the fact is that plenty of men reading this are already doing their best. And we really need you in order to stop the real evil predators out there.
And some of you could do more. I find more that I can do all the time. Even just in writing this I’ve learned a few more things I can do. But I, alone, making a change will make no difference if you go out tonight and let your friend tell another dumb blonde joke, or brag that he hooked up with some chick who was so wasted she passed out halfway through.
The culture is shifting. Be ahead of the curve. Re-read the 5 points listed above, go out tonight and put a stop to it.
Like a man.
