GRE Misery

Not really. I just wanted a cute title that rhymed.

I arrived at a nondescript office building and proceeded to the suite of Prometric Testing Services.  There I showed my ID and received a key to a locker, where I was to put all my belongings, including my watch. The only thing I could keep was my ID and the locker key.

When my name was called I went into a glass office that looked into the testing room.  There a nice lady looked at my ID again, asked me for the last 4 digits of my phone number and took my picture.  Then things got a little TSA.  She asked me to pull out my pockets, stick my finger in the tiny front pocket, and turn around so she could see me put my hands in my back pockets.  Next I walked over to an X - I assume this special spot was visible to cameras - and she used a wand on me to scan for metal objects.   The whole place was rigged with cameras.

Via

 I had to sign in: 12:42 pm. After that I was allowed into the test room, which had about 16 cubicles with computers.  She provided me with yellow headphones, like you see on people at the airports directing the planes into the gates. I appreciated those because I did not want to be distracted by the sound of sobs or heads hitting keyboards.  She also provided me with pencils and a pink booklet of scratch paper.  I had to trade it in for another one during the test.  You can't have more than one at a time.

Once the test loaded my picture popped up on the screen for me to confirm that I was taking the test meant for me.  I had been resting my chin on my hand while I was at the desk, so my picture had the look of a 1990s Glamour Shot sans the feather boa and bad makeup.  I started cracking up when I saw it - a good way to start a 4 hour test I think.

Essays were first, one where I had to argue for or against mandating parental volunteering at schools. Then I had to analyze an argument about whether or not a college should build new dorms.  My essays were good.  The rest of the test alternated between quantitative and verbal.

I knew I would not get through all the quantitative, so my strategy was to give all questions a "B" or the second answer, just so everything had an answer and I didn't have to scramble at the end to make sure I didn't skip one. (Wrong answers don't count against you on the GRE.)

I did the data analysis and geometry first since I got most of those right during practice, then I worked through the rest.  For the probability problems I was like, "How the fuck am I supposed to know?" B. I'm in the 40th percentile in quantitative, but only 2 points below the average score, so I don't feel bad, and it's not like I'm going to graduate school for theoretical physics.

Don't worry about me.  I'm hunched over from GRE prep!

In the verbal section, I did the word choice problems first, then the short passages saving the long passage for last.  I finished those sections with 10 minutes to spare.  I felt like I got every question right, but apparently not since I was in the 80th percentlie, about 10 popints above the average.

The test took me exactly 4 hours, including my 10 minute break.  When I came back from the break, I had to do the pocket search and the wand again.  I felt like telling the lady she should at least buy me dinner.

I refused to let this test stress me out.  I stressed one night while I was studying, but I said no more.  If graduate school causes me undue stress, I'm going to lower my class load. I am striving for a low stress lifestyle.

This is the best fake smile ever

I used REAs Contextual Vocabulary and general GRE prep book. I don't remember seeing any of the vocabulary words on the GRE, and none of the 10-point words like nugatory, welter, or minatory.  I was able to work obviate into one of my essays, so that was good.  I wouldn't say that this book is necessary unless you really need the vocab help. I enjoy learning new words so I didn't regret the purchase. The other book explained math in an easy and fun way, so I'd definitely recommend it.

Overall it was an ok experience, but I'm glad to have it over.  The GRE completes my application, so I'll be waiting to hear if the program wants to interview me.

I Have A New Blog

When my mom was visiting, we had some discussions about aspects of my personal life that she found out while on my computer. She says she was not snooping, but I do not believe her.

As a result of these conversations, I began to appreciate that some people do not want to be exposed to sex, sexuality or curse words. (If they expose themselves because they are nosy, well, there's nothing I can do about that.) I'm applying to graduate school to study human sexuality and I use my share of expletives, so those topics pop up frequently on this blog.  But I do have posts on other topics that get clicks from Google searches and those folks may not want to be exposed to these things.

Sparking Clean will have all the "clean" stuff from this blog that I can easily cut and paste. Posts about restaurants or toothpaste (yes, I'm writing about toothpaste soon), more reviews than how they relate to my inner life, will probably only be at Sparkling Clean.

All the good stuff will stay here. : - )

60-20=40

One of my meds is Celexa, and my psychiatrist told me at our last visit that the dose I was on carried a risk of cardiac arrhythmia.  This is not a new drug, so I'm not sure why they just determined this. He said I needed to go down to 40mg or switch to something else.

I had a hell no, I won't go back moment. A panic of I'd rather die than go back to how I was, but of course I survived that living hell to become the person I am now. And everything would be ok if I got depressed again because I have support systems in place, etc.  It is not something I want to have happen, ever, but I would get through it if it did.

I accepted that I had to do it, but there was the issue of discontinuation syndrome or withdrawal.  I am very sensitive to this.  If I miss my morning medication I know by 3pm because I start getting dizzy and getting the feeling. For me the feeling is similar to when you're swinging and you're at the lowest point and the g-forces are the highest. I'll get that feeling every couple of minutes, all day long, but just in my brain.  On Wikipedia others refer to them as "brain zaps", "brain shocks", "brain shivers", "head shocks", or "cranial zings." That's about right.  It's not a constant thing, which perhaps could blend into the background.  I'm going about my day, then BAM I'm on a swing.

My psychiatrist said just go down to 50mg for a week and then to 40mg. Most people can do this, but not me.  Even though I knew better, I popped a pill in half, but by afternoon I was back at the playground. I had to take it slow. It took me almost two months to drop 40mg because I went down by 2.5mg a week. I figured my body would not miss such a small amount and I was right. It was a bitch cutting those small pills into 8 pieces, but not going through withdrawal was more than worth it.

Two weeks ago I finally got down to 40 mg and I am quite pleased with myself. I was worried that my baseline would go down, but it hasn't.  My baseline is still "slightly good" rather than just blah. I still have occasional moments of stress or sadness, but the vast majority of the time is the gentle feeling that everything is ok.

And then there is the feeling of accomplishment I get from doing something I didn't think I could. Go me. :-)

Dachshund Love- Modern Art Edition

Miniportrait - Myungsue and Dokota / KangHee Grändås-Rhee

2012 Olympics Team USA Uniforms

Members of Congress are fuming because the uniforms for the 2012 Olympics in London were made in China. Pelosi and Boehner are angry. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid called for them to be burned. We know you're pissed, dude, but that is a little much.

via

 This is free market capitalism at work- making garments and trinkets and small household appliances where wages are the lowest. Why those wages are so low is not a concern.  Tommy Hilfiger probably had the chinese infrastructure in place already, so sending a few new designs there was a financial no-brainier.

But what in the world were they thinking? Tommy Hilfiger and Olympic Committee:  are you dumb? Did you not know that these garments would be some of the most scrutinized in the United States? The only garment I can think of that gets as much scrutiny is a First Lady's inaugural gown.  Those are always made in the USA.

First Lady Michelle Obama donates her gown to the Smithsonian March 2010

The politicians are playing to their bases in an election year, for sure, but come on Olympic Committee members.  This is a PR fiasco that did not have to happen.

Koalas to the Max

The website Koalas to the Max has captured my imagination. It takes an image, analyses all the colors and turns it into one circle. Clicking on the circle will yield four smaller circles each representing the colors in its quadrant of the image.  This continues six or seven more times (I'm not sure; the circles get really small) until the full image is revealed. 

You can recognize a face after only a couple of divisions.  A few more divisions and you can tell whose face it is.

Another neat feature of the site is that you can customize it and give a picture of your choosing for the Koala treatment. I chose the portrait of Adele below. She is the only artist to stay in my car cd player for over 6 months.  I never get tired of her album 21. I don't understand it. I want her to move to America and become my little sister. Anyway.

To customize you add a ? after koalastothemax.com/  then add the url of your image.

So it would look like: http://koalastothemax.com/?http://urlofimage

See the results below!

                                                     Adele Image Using Koalas to the Max

Bowie Pac-Man Bandits

Someone is turning the streets of Bowie, Maryland into a gigantic Pac-Man game, or something like that.  In a couple places around town I see Pac-Man or his enemies. I imagine looking down at the city and seeing the streets as the maze that Pac-Man travels to eat his pac-dots or pellets and score points.

The yellow light in the middle of a stoplight sign has been turned into Pac-Man chasing two white dots. This is at the intersection of Kenhilll Drive and Collington Road.  There is the outline of Pac-Man started on the corner of Northview and Collington Roads, at the part of the intersection closest to the Safeway. A mailbox on Superior lane has been transformed into Blinky or Pinky.

I also noted a pair of scissors on Annapolis Road near its intersection with Moylan Road.  It replicates the "cut here" images you see on coupons or bills: a pair of scissors followed by dashes.  In this case the dashes are the white lines separating the lanes. I don't know if this is related to the Pac-Man bandits.

Whoever you are out there, keep up the good work. I love it.

Henri Le Chat Noir - The Existential Cat

I really enjoy these videos by Will Braden. Anthropomorphism has never been so funny.

 

Henri: I am like a pendulum that does not swing. 

Henri 2, Paw de Deux:  I am surrounded by morons.

 

Henri 3:  Le Vet - The indignity is too much to bear.

CJLL #6 - History of the Flagellants

Larger Version

 The HISTORY OF THE FLAGELLANTS: otherwise of RELIGIOUS FLAGELLATIONS among different Nations, and especially among Christians

Being a Paraphrase and Commentary on the HISTORIA FLAGELLANTIUM of the Abbe Boileau, Doctor of the Sorbonne, Canon of the Holy Chapel, &C.

By one who is not Doctor of the Sorbonne

Honi foit qui mal y pense.

Otherwise of RELIGIOUS FLAGELLATIONS among different nations and especially among Christians

LONDON Printed for G. Robinson No. 25 Pater-nofter Row 2nd Edition M DCC LXXXIII

Larger Version

Dachshund Love - Nerd Edition

cocoa #73 glasses / nao-cha