Negotiating My First Scene

Frankly, I'm surprised I'm getting around to this so soon.  I've only been in the scene since December 2011.  It is a testament to how safe I feel and the quality of the people I am meeting. Below is the negotiation about a scene that will take place this weekend.

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Me: Hey! It was nice meeting the two of you as well. I'll look forward to seeing you this weekend.

R: If you're still interested in playing on Saturday night, I'd definitely like to discuss it this week so that we're both on the same page! Anything you can tell me about what you would want and wouldn't want would be wonderful. I am all about aiming to please, so the more details we can work out in advance, the better!
Of course, if you don't feel comfortable playing, that's perfectly fine too... no pressure at all. Just want to advertise my availability (and interest)! :)

The Civil Wars

Click for link to their Nashville Scene profile

The Civil Wars have been getting me through my work day.  I saw them at the Lincoln Theater here in DC, and they were wonderful.  This 2011 Newport Folk Festival Concert via NPR was one of the first things I heard from them. Then I decided to see them live.  The friend I went with bought me their CD, and it is a crime to listen to it.  It does not capture the energy of their live show.  Had I heard their CD first, I would not have gone to the concert. Sad but true. Stick to the live stuff and pray that their next cd does them justice.

My favorites are Tip of My Tongue, Barton Hollow, and their cover of Michael Jackson's Billie Jean.

Master / Slave Relationships

I love the variety of people I’m meeting lately. 

In the past month, I’ve met four couples in master/slave relationships – each in a different gender combination. Over the holidays I met a male master with a female slave, a lesbian couple in a M/s relationship and a male couple with the same. A few weeks later I met a couple in their early twenties in which the female was the master and the male was more submissive. Actually, I don’t think the last two are master/slave per se, but they are in their roles in the relationship. 

Via SliceofNYC

 The Male/female relationship seemed loving.  I spent a day at their house over the holidays. The master was a sort of goofy white guy who says, “They’re the ones that tell me what to do.  I just live here.”  Who can tell how true that is. From what I observed, the master does not do any work.  When he heads downstairs he rings a bell in the kitchen to alert the slave, A, where he is going.  If he is downstairs and wants his coffee, he gets up and rings another bell.  When he rang the bell, slave A was up in the kitchen working on the evening meal.  I heard her footsteps immediately, and in a second or two she was down the stairs.  

“Yes, Master” she said.  

“May I have some coffee?”  he asked.  

She replied, “Sure, with cream or black?” 

 “Black.”  

“Right away, Sir.”

At dinner slave A and the other slaves (there were three total at this gathering of 15 or so), sat at small tv dinner tables slightly behind their masters. The food was delicious.  I appreciate the hospitality they showed me that day.

Crush My Awkward Heart

Yesterday at lunch with my co-worker, I let it slip that I liked him.  AWKWARD. I came right out, no thought or anything.  EEEK.  After I said it I was like, “Did I just say that?” and he said “Yes, you did.” CRINGE. I hope it won’t make things weird. I made it clear that I did not expect anything to happen, and then we went on to talk about a woman he is seeing.

Via rutlo

Crush My Heart

I’ve got a horrible crush on a co-worker, H. This is how bad I have it for this guy:

My dad had this habit of clearing his throat all the time, and it annoyed the poo out of the whole family.  When H does it at this desk just around the corner from me, I get a warm, affectionate feeling.

H went with me and a couple other people to Dungeon 101.  We all tried the spanking, and the presenter let me and another friend spank him.  I enjoyed having my hands all over his ass, of course, but what I remember the most was stroking his lower back.  His skin was so soft, smooth and warm.

The next morning he sent me a text saying “Thanks for a great night.”  I’ve looked at it countless times just because.

I have dreams about him.  They aren’t sex dreams.  They are love dreams.  I confess my love to him or he confesses his love to me. Sometime I wake up crying. Luckily last night I got some respite and dreamt about a marble fawn.  (Will post on that later)

What I like about him is that he listens to me.  He and I can talk about anything (our conversations inevitably end up on sex) and he does not judge. He has real affection for me.  All of this is platonic of course.  I’m not used to being treated like that, and I am confusing that with romantic feelings I think. I want to be wanted. It also doesn’t help that he is hot and single.

Seriously I wake up crying from a dream about our romantic wedding. Why can’t I channel this energy into a relationship with someone I can have?